Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Visiting The Past -The Distant Call-

There are some who unintentionally break your heart, and you can't hate them, it's simply who they are; and it's that fresh ache in your chest that acts as that good reminder of what you left behind. Such indevers are over. I used to fight for their time and love; now, towards them I have become more placid. It is unfair to those who hunger and strive for my attention and time in association with them, for I have a mind to sometimes sum them all together instead of cut down to the individuals themselves. Perhaps it's shame that causes me to deny or ignore the cause. The depths to what it could mean, the messages behind such a truth. Also, simple acceptance that the levels of devotion, love and attention I seek are just to high of standards for them to give. This is why I must and do, enjoy this level from those who are capable of giving such as I. I feel this fulfillment, satisfaction, love and quality of contentment. My heart swells with joy and astonishment that there are others such as myself. Who can give me such time, I am overwhelmed. It is more than I could have imagined, the feeling greater than I could receive from the ones I was fighting to receive it from. I accept there are friends on many different levels and closeness, and even with the closeness, different focuses and strengths of each individual. I shall fret no longer and put my focus and time on those who care to receive it. All will get in portion to what they appreciate and what is due. No longer shall I waist my time and affections on those who do not value it. It only short changes those who do.

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